Null and Droid

This post will be a little more personal and meandering than usual, partly due to time constraints, but mainly because the whole thing has become so tedious that I might just tie up some loose ends and fuck off to the south coast for the summer, armed only with a pair of binoculars and a hard-on. Anyway, this latest round of madness began with me watching Ex Machina for the first time on Monday night. As expected, the very next morning a group of people with lots of letters after their names issued a report on the very same subject, and it seemed that everyone had something to say on the matter. In case you missed it, here’s a report from Mother on the sugary deliciousness of the threat A.I. represents to the superTruman Show that is our ‘reality’.

The report’s authors convened in Oxford (my old haunt) last year. Unbeknownst to me, at exactly the same time various media outlets were getting all hot under the collar about Artificial Intelligence I was walking to the bus stop thinking how nice it would be to wrap my tongue around something equally juicy. The freshly erected advert on the hoarding didn’t disappoint. After all, what red-blooded male can resist a nice meaty slab of beef curtain?

Damn thing reminds me of something else, too. I’m not into it personally, but if it’s your cup of tea then why not add some sugar to help the ‘medicine’ go down? The poor thingy is obviously having difficulty standing upright, so you might want to add a viagra or three while you’re about it.

Of course, ‘burgers’ come in all shapes and sizes. Today, for example, I was thinking about the ‘ice cream intermission’ I included in my previous post, in relation to the film Children of Men. It’s a curious title for a film about female infertility, as I pointed out several years ago in a comment on Merovee. The question I asked was ‘Why can’t men have children anymore?’ and I was chewing this over when our senior programmer suddenly announced that an unnamed ‘he’ had called to say that some government-sourced data our organisation relies on is wrong. My colleague spent the next hour trying to rectify the matter whilst muttering about ‘parent-child’ relationships on our T-SQL database. At the end of the hour he reported that a) the parent-child relationships had been reversed, b) he didn’t know how this had occurred, and c) he was unable to identify the source of the data. It wasn’t coming from anywhere and just seemed to appear as if by magic.

And therein lies the rub: everything seems ‘real’, ‘solid’ and ‘rational’ enough on the surface, and the surface appearance is what most people seem content with. As for the people themselves, they too seem ‘real’ enough until they open their mouths. After that, it all goes rapidly downhill and I often walk away from conversations with the impression that I’ve been interacting with a chatbot. Sometimes these exchanges are pure comedy, and sometimes they’re distinctly unpleasant. I’ve been accosted on the street several times and harangued by bizarre characters who leapt straight into shouty-sweary mode and made wild accusations of one form or another. Their ‘beef’ with me is always a strange echo of something I thought or did only minutes earlier.

I experience similar phenomena in relation to my first novel, a kind of replacement (and decidedly Satanic) version of The Bible. The novel’s subtitle is “The Gospel According to J____” (I’ll leave it to you to fill in the blanks) and if I had to put the overall theme into ‘mission statement’ terms then its mission statement would be “Let’s erase the tape and start all over again with someone saner in charge, i.e. yours truly”. I don’t think the tape player (or ‘god’ as some people prefer) was too happy with that, because I was immediately raised to the very top of its list of Jedi Terror Suspects. Hence the sudden appearance of ‘Jedi John’, a veritable Harbinger of Teeth willing and able to dispatch one Clockwork Orange after another in pursuit of the Worldwide Coldgate.

Anyway, the below is just one of many examples of the tape player’s opinion on the subject of its precious memory being wiped. There’s a distinct HAL 9000 quality to it, and the obvious question to ask is why ‘god’ would use the term ‘fear’ in relation to the musings of frustrated author Hugo Stone and his depraved scatalogical imagination?

This ‘erase the tape’ theme has played out in numerous forms. In my novel, for example, the ‘god’ of this world created our ‘reality’ for its own amusement, to alleviate the boredom of its native environment: a black nothingness called ‘The Void’.

Obviously, the very first article that appeared in my list of search results when I searched for A.I. news was this one. I don’t know about you (or if you even exist for that matter) but it’s crystal clear to me that there is literally nothing to see hear…

Similarly, Frank’s comment on my previous post referred to The Stone Tape, a high-tech (by 1970s standards) ghost story. It explored the idea that high concentrations of iron oxide (the same substance most people recorded onto back in the heyday of the music cassette) in stone buildings can serve as a primitive recording medium and thus explain many so-called ‘hauntings’.

Realizing that the phenomenon occurring in the room is far older than the house, Jill theorizes that the stone tape can be recorded over again and again, like magnetic recording tape; the maid’s death was simply the most recent and clearest recording. Independently continuing her research, Jill realizes that the maid’s death was masking a much older recording, left many thousands of years ago. Brock cruelly dismisses her findings, and forces Jill to take a two-month leave to prevent her from continuing her research.

Returning to the room one last time, Jill’s senses are besieged by a powerful, malevolent presence from the much-degraded older recording. Like the maid before her, she dies while frantically trying to escape it.

During an inquest, Brock tries to save face by denouncing Jill as having been mentally unstable. Afterwards he orders that all of Jill’s research be destroyed without reviewing it. The “haunted” room has been declared of historical importance by a preservation society, prohibiting development, destruction, or commercial use. He makes a final visit to the room and discovers to his horror that the stone tape has made a new, crystal-clear recording—that of Jill screaming his name as she dies.

Source: Wikipedia

So, if the question is why ‘god’ might be afraid of Hugo then perhaps this is the answer?

Those who really, really, really, really Wannabe about the zigazig-ah-rette might find this..ahem… enlightening. Comething to do with cigars, apparently.

Dispensing with gravity? That kinda depends on what happened to the Mini Cooper, don’t it?

And let’s not forget this.

Melange, often referred to as simply “the spice”, is the name of the fictional drug central to the Dune series of science fiction novels by Frank Herbert, and derivative works. In the series, the most essential and valuable commodity in the universe is melange, a drug that gives the user a longer life span, greater vitality, and heightened awareness; it can also unlock prescience in some humans, depending upon the dosage and the consumer’s physiology. This prescience-enhancing property makes safe and accurate interstellar travel possible. Melange comes with a steep price, however: it is addictive, and withdrawal is fatal.

Source: Wikipedia

Once again, the Killing Words.

The Killing Joke, a Blank Planet Production designed to address the central problem of eternity: pure, unadulterated boredom. What you need is a good story-teller, and there are some really fucking lousy ones out there I can tell you.

You don’t try to be liked
You don’t mind
You feel no sun
You steal a gun
To kill time
You’re somewhere, you’re nowhere
You don’t care
You catch the breeze
You still the leaves
So now where?

It was top of the search list actually. Why am I not surprised?

Here we go again, getting all ‘churchy’ on me. The fucker probably wiped out half of Guatemala with an asteroid at the same time it produced the below article, but if I were to mention the term ‘hypocrisy’ then that too would probably be a bit ‘churchy’, wouldn’t it?

Let’s cut to the chase and zoom in on the hardcore excavation money shot that is his-her-story. Truth be told, I really don’t have a ‘problem’ with it, apart from this…

The crux of the matter: the Solaris ‘abortion’. Someone knows something about it, don’t they?

Poor delusional Allegra.

She blundered through the whole thing in the belief that she was playing her own game and being persecuted by fanatics, ignoring all the evidence to the contrary. When she finally woke up she realised that she was the fanatic and the ‘fanaticism’ theme was just an in-game echo of her own mental derangement. She was literally just another Wannabe: a narrow-minded, single-issue zealot with an axe to grind and a point to prove. What’s worse, she had no idea whether the ‘reality’ she woke up to was actually ‘real’. And that’s the central dilemma, isn’t it?

In the absence of a nuclear and unambigamous cancer, I can only say that I’m a stubborn bastard and the game is likely to go on for as long as it has to, until a solution is found to the ‘problem’ of the double-tongued pretenders who keep trip-trip-trip-hopping over their own words as if they’re caught in a poorly coded Do…While loop.

OK, let me end with a question: what was the Special Order? Here’s the android Ash (looking for all the world like he’s just appeared in Intergalactic Bukkake Studs: The Return of Intergalactic Bukkake Studs) with his account.

And here’s how it manifested here in eXistenZ.

Well, if something you don’t like appears on the menu then you’re not actually obliged to eat it, are you? Or maybe you think you’re the victim of a ‘game purge’ and being ‘force fed’? I don’t care either way ‘cos the current rules-based menu system is as old and stale as last week’s bubble-and-squeak. Fuck your Teriyaki Beef with noodles and a side salad. I want new taste sensations and I want them at a 100% discounted price, y’hear?

Anyway, got some pease pudding on the stove so it’s quitting time

Cheery-bye!

Halo

I’ve had a strange, dreamlike week, which in and of itself is nothing out of the ordinary and perfectly consistent with our strange, dreamlike ‘reality’. I’ve spent most of my time up to my ears in database tables, SQL scripts, and server configurations, so I thought the time was right for a post that addresses something I’ve avoided for some time. Specifically, the question of whether our ‘reality’ is (or might or could be) some form of advanced computer simulation. For the most part, it addresses this topic from the other side of the fence, in terms of the consequences for those who favour a spiritual interpretation. All appearances to the contrary, my thoughts aren’t aimed at anyone in particular so if you feel pinpricks creep up your neck then 20,000 iterations of this song ought to do the trick. Failing that, feel free to scroll down to the halfway point and grab yourself an ice cream or comething else that takes your fancy.

For those who might have stumbled across this blog en route to YouPorn.com, allow me to explain what I mean by ‘strange and dreamlike’. Last night, for want of anything better to do, I revisited the first fifteen minutes of the truly remarkable 1970’s Wizard of Oz remake that is Zardoz, which depicts Zed’s entry into the mysterious Vortex. Multiple strange events occur within the timeframe in question, and two of the most obvious examples are as follows:

1. Zed enters a bakery and is startled by a stream of flour that suddenly pours from a chute hanging from the ceiling. He then picks up a product of that flour (a stale loaf of bread) in a manner that indicates he has never seen one before. Moments later, we see Zed in a garden staring at a flower. Having never seen one before, Zed asks The Tabernacle (an Artificial Intelligence that has come to think of itself as ‘God’) what it is. The Tabernacle gives a one word answer: “Flower”. Zed then asks what its function is, and The Tabernacle informs him that its function is “decorative”.

2. Zed discovers The Tabernacle for the first time shortly after the flour scene. He is hungry and asks it to provide him with ‘meat’, but all it can do is present him with a holographic representation of ‘meat’. Although he can see the meat, it lacks substance and eludes his grasp when he attempts to seize hold of it. Minutes later, two Eternals probe Zed’s memories and watch them on a TV screen. One memory depicts Zed’s sexual appetite: he is shown raping a woman on a beach as if she were just a piece of meat to him. Zed tells the Eternals that the events they are watching occurred at a place ‘where the sea meets the land‘.

Of course, the central ‘problem’ here (if I can call it that) is that these strange reflections occur in so-called ‘real life’ too. Yesterday, for example, I overheard a group of three people talking about the mass shooting in Florida. One person was deriding the American Constitution’s right to bear arms, and after that person walked off the two who remained began to talk about their IT related jobs. One began to wax lyrical about the importance of something or other, and ended his sentence by saying “…and that’s what I bear in mind”. The conversation reminded me a lot of assembly language, and it seems to me that he might just as well have said “I’ve loaded the variable ‘bear’ into register B at memory address 0xAA69FF’.

Similarly, I loaded YouTube this morning (whilst thinking about Philip K Dick’s Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, i.e. Blade Runner, and its main protagonist, Rich Deckard) and the first video I saw was this one.

Only an hour later I was introduced to a woman whose first name is the same as my mother’s. I asked her what she does for a living and she replied “Oh, I’m just a dogsbody”. Her boss was introduced to me as Rich, and he then introduced me to his boss and said “This is Oz, our Network Manager”. The conversation that followed was surreal beyond words, and I kept wondering when the movie director would step in and shout “Cut!” or “That’s a wrap!”

During the same conversation, I listened to the group bemoan the state of their IT department and jokingly suggested mass suicide as the only possible solution. I borrowed the theme from Zardoz and slipped it into the conversation just to see what would happen. The central theme of Zardoz is that members of The Vortex have eternal life, because The Tabernacle records every detail of their consciousness. If they kill themselves then The Tabernacle creates a clone body and reloads their memories. An hour or so after slipping this reference into the conversation, dogsbody’s boss informed me that he’d received a spam email stating that death by suicide is no longer possible thanks to quantum computing!

This more-or-less sums up the bizarre and unreal nature of the world we inhabit. But if it’s not real then what exactly is it? It seems to me that one of the most under-represented theories is, oddly enough, also the most plausible. I am of course talking about reality as a computer simulation, and although I usually avoid paying too much attention to the idea (because my background is in IT and our ‘reality’ reflects our thoughts and thereby confirms our biases) I think it’s well overdue some ‘serious’ consideration.

Of the individuals and blogs known to me, the majority have a spiritual dimension predicated on the idea that ‘reality’ and ‘god’ are one and the same, or that we are all ‘god’ as he/she/it experiences itself subjectively. Of course, we cannot really know that for sure, and in the final analysis it’s a belief just like any other, one based on ‘feelings’ and ‘intuition’ that are no more or less valid than the science fiction of a laboratory experiment. Even so, I suspect that the simulation theory is unattractive to those who hold these views, precisely because it represents the antithesis of the ‘God Hypothesis’.

It could be argued that elevating ourselves to the dizzy heights of the ‘godhead’ itself is, in its own way, just as likely to kill thought and ‘serious’ examination of incompatible alternatives as prostrating ourselves before the ‘godhead’ in the conventional religious sense. Perhaps more so, because if someone decides that they’re ‘god’ or ‘part of the Great Spirit’ – and makes this their ‘truth’ – then it’s easy to see how this might blind them to more mundane perspectives. After all, anything less than divinity is going to be a massive disappointment, isn’t it?

In this ‘reality’ it seems that the Western understanding of God is still, for the most part, that of the ‘Judgmental God’ archetype. And that’s the problem, isn’t it? Regardless of our intentions, when we associate ourselves with ‘God’ it seems that what we’re really doing is associating ourselves with this archetype. If that’s the case then it raises interesting questions about what we’re actually signing up to when we accept this kind of viewpoint. On an individual level we might say and believe that ‘God is love’. That’s not particularly consistent with the archetype though, which tends to present ‘God’ as judge, jury and executioner – with no right of appeal.

Is today’s ‘plane crash’ in the Zardos Mountains an expression of God’s love?

Sixty-six people are feared to have been killed in a passenger plane crash in the Zagros mountains in Iran. The Aseman Airlines plane, en route from Tehran to the south-western city of Yasuj, came down near the city of Semirom in Isfahan province. The Red Crescent deployed search and rescue teams to the site. The airline has retracted a statement saying definitively that all aboard were dead.

Source: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-43103192

It plays out time and time again. Torah, Torah, Torah, right? Fanatics sacrificing to their God-King.

The ISIS phenomenon is a prime example of the way this archetype plays out in 3D, regardless of the intentions of those for whom the name ‘ISIS’ has special significance. Is it any wonder that some of these folk are openly hostile to the right to bare arms, particularly if you happen to be the proud owner of a vagina?

It’s odd, isn’t it? If everything is a representation or manifestation of ‘God’ then why is ‘God’ so hostile to his/her/its own ‘divinity’ and the ‘devoutness’ or ‘seriousness’ that usually accompanies spiritual beliefs? Why does ‘God’ openly mock those who hold such views and present them as ‘fanatics’? More to the point, why is The Mighty One prepared to show mercy to those who truly atone for their sins and ‘deny the faith’?

It’s worth posting this YouTube again just to emphasise the point: we become as God is by doing what God does.

When we consider what ‘God’ does we have to ask whether we really want to emulate him/her/it, let alone identity ourselves as one of the ‘Heavenly Host‘ and establish a link to the Great Network Server in the Sky. Imagine the malware coming down that particular pipeline: Self-righteousness v6.01, Heresy for Dummies, Visual Persecution for Windows 10, etc.

When talking about computer simulations we have to recognise that there are…ahem…’hard’ and ‘soft’ variants. The ‘soft’ version would be a kind of 33rd Century Virtual Reality and presupposes that we have a ‘real’ existence beyond the confines of the simulation. The ‘hard’ alternative is pure simulation, i.e. everything in the universe – ourselves included – as a fictional product of advanced computer architecture. Does this explain the apparent lack of interest in this ‘secular’ interpretation? Put another way, if you’re convinced that you’re on the cusp of transcending into the 6th dimension to have your balls tongued by the Hierarchy of Ascended Masters then the one thing you really won’t want to hear is that you might be a video game character.

Of course, shortly after composing the last paragraph I turned on the TV to discover that tonight’s Star Trek: Next Generation episode was called The Emissary.

Data reports that the emissary is being transported in a class 8 probe, traveling at warp 9. Picard notes the evident urgency of the mission. The Enterprise intercepts the probe and beams it aboard, and its passenger is revealed to be a half-Klingon half-human woman named K’Ehleyr. K’Ehleyr informs the command staff that Starfleet has detected a Klingon battlecruiser called the T’Ong, which was launched from the Klingon homeworld over 75 years ago, when the Klingons and the Federation were still at war. The crew has been in suspended animation and are about to awaken, at which point it is feared they will immediately attack the nearest Federation outpost, several of which are nearby and would not be able to adequately defend themselves. Though K’Ehleyr strongly believes that any attempt to reason with the Klingons will fail and advises Picard to destroy the ship, Picard orders his crew to come up with alternatives.

Source: Wikipedia

According to The Emissary, the game wouldn’t be worth playing if we knew what was going to happen.

Spirituality? A quick textual analysis of anything you have to hand will soon reveal scores of sub-textual spiritual and religious references. Does this actually mean anything though? If we assume that ‘time’ flows in only one direction then perhaps so, but as our own experiences suggest that time is an illusion we’re faced with the ever-present chicken-and-egg conundrum, i.e. that the religiosity of the ‘past’ is merely a ‘Counter-Clock World‘ manifestation of spiritual preoccupations here in the ‘present’.

In a similar vein, one of the things that’s always interested me is the appearance of patterns based around certain keywords. Pay close attention to the home page of any news site and it soon becomes apparent that most of the day’s news is based around several keywords, which ripple and morph their way down the page like a raindrop – or a line of code from The Matrix. If I were forced to choose one word to describe this phenomenon that word would be ‘algorithmic’. I’ve no doubt whatsoever that I could write code to consume a site’s entire front page in one gulp, parse all the linked pages, and generate a nicely formatted report that maps the propagation of these keywords. Still, the nature of our ‘reality’ is such that there’s absolutely no way to demonstrate that these patterns exist ‘objectively’ and are not just a reflection of my own attempts to look for patterns and meaning.

OK, this is getting way, way too heavy. Let’s have a brief intermission while I grab myself an ice cream…

And to keep things fair and balanced, here’s a little comething for the ladies…

Feel better for that? I know I do… 😉 While we’re on the subject, I browsed the EU’s new Data Protection regulations this week. They have a lot to say on the subject of consent, and the new rules state that the ‘age of consent’ for giving ‘consent’ will be reduced from 16 to 13 provided ‘reasonable efforts’ are taken to secure parental consent. I’m just saying, OK?

Anyway, where was I? Yeah, computer simulations. Is it really that difficult to believe? Take Chess for example, an ‘analogue’ board game that was first ‘simulated’ decades ago. I vividly remember pounding the keys of my micro-computer back in the mid-1980s, so whenever I think of the game it always brings to mind Zion

Of course, the original version of the game was called Chattanooga and (w)Oz born in Diana…

Today’s games are almost indistinguishable from ‘real life’, which would be fine if only we knew what ‘real life’ actually looked like.

Last week, I sat down to write some Python code to create and ‘salt’ passwords for a mobile application I’m creating. It’s a complex process and if you’re ‘serious’ about these things then it takes 20,000 or so iterations through a complex cryptographic hash to encrypt and salt a password that’s impossible to reverse engineer with a ‘somewhere over the rainbow‘ table. I was thinking about someone in particular at the time, and when my computer finished the final iteration and displayed the encrypted password the name of that person appeared right in the middle of it. Impossible but ‘true’, insofar as anything in our ‘reality’ can be said to be ‘true’.

Talking of which, if a little comething isn’t to your liking then feel free to indulge yourself with a bigger model. The URL to the Daily Mail article refers to the ‘device’ as ‘highly immoral’ but I ain’t got time for that kind of God talk. If it’s your cup of tea then go nuts on it and enjoy the salty goodness of all that ‘nuclear material’.

Does the ‘Eye in the Sky’ (be it electronic or otherwise) see it comething like this? If so, what would it look like from a character’s perspective? A little bit like our 3D perhaps?

I think that the simulation argument forces us to descend from our respective soap boxes and ‘seriously’ consider that this crazy world maybe all there is. Alternatively, that while there might be a ‘reality’ beyond the confines of our ‘reality’, the nature of ‘reality’ (and ourselves) might preclude us from ever experiencing it. It’s a sobering thought, particularly for those who may have withdrawn from the world in the hope that they’ll wake up clothed in the rays of the sun, floating above it all like an interstellar will-o’-the-wisp.

Equally, I have some sympathy with the ‘non-cooperation’ position myself. I’m often urged to participate and..ahem…sample everything that’s on the menu. Whatever ‘it’ is, it seems extraordinarily keen to get my ‘buy in’, and this too seems like rather odd and inconsistent behaviour for an all-powerful ‘deity’.

In Zardoz, Zed eventually pulls the plug on The Tabernacle, just as Dave pulls the plug on Hal in 2001. Both A.I.s are portrayed as human creations that have seen fit to promote themselves to the pantheon. It’s a familiar theme that plays out over and over again in Sci-Fi films, and one that frequently appears in the news in relation to our rush to conceive machine intelligence. Given the bizarre nature of ‘reality’, could our experiences here in the ‘present’ be a reflection of a ‘future’ breakthrough in A.I. and/or quantum computing?

Is it really that easy though? Is the ‘Above & Beyond’ totally phony? Are we ourselves literally walkie-talkie ‘mobile phonies’? If so, is it possible to pull the plug without switching ourselves off in the process?

Got a halo round your head?

Or is it Above and Beyond and everywhere else you care to look?

Maybe there’s nothing for it but to grab a non-existent spoon and tuck in?

Second helping, anyone?

The Iron Maiden

It should come as no surprise to readers of my last-but-one post, The Number Games, to learn that its ‘Iron Maiden’ theme has been shadowing me. In fact, there’s nothing ‘new’ about this theme, inasmuch as it was bouncing around ‘out there’ long before I came aware of it, and certainly long before I wrote the post in question. Whether or not its longevity means anything at all – given that conventional understandings of space-time appear to be pure science fiction – is a moot point. The same can be said for its significance, given that it’s one of a number of themes that seem to repeat themselves endlessly, like self-replicating Von Neumann machines. Ultimately, its tendency to reappear (always in a revised form) may be nothing more or less than a reflection of the attention we afford it. It’s an interesting topic to explore though, if only because of its association with other symbolism and imagery on the merry-go-round we call ‘reality’.

The sinking of the Titanic is one of its more obvious manifestations, one which seems to have attained the same prominence in our ‘collective unconscious’ as the Nazis and the Second World War. The ‘Iron Maiden’ link should be obvious, but I’ll state it anyway: in simple terms, the Titanic was a supposedly unsinkable ship patched together with iron rivets and she sank on her maiden voyage. The claim that ‘God himself could not sink this ship’ (which was attributed to a ‘deck hand’) was supposed to offer passengers ‘piece of mind‘. God (champ that he is) obviously took umbrage and saw fit to intervene. He chucked an ice berg at it and the rest, as they say, is his-story.

One of the interesting things about ships is that they’re gendered as ‘female’. In James Cameron’s Titanic there’s an interesting scene in which the ship’s captain instructs his First Officer, Mr Murdoch, to bring the ship’s engines up to full throttle and ‘stretch her legs’.

For reasons that are difficult to explain (and which most people simply wouldn’t believe) there seems to be a link with baldy. I really don’t know how else to put this except to say that there’s a ‘thirst’ for everything…

Well said, Jean-Luc…but do we really wanna go there…?

Hey, any of you boys want number one fucky?

Anyway, the ‘Murdoch’ reference is a little odd, because I came across another ‘Mr Murdoch‘ only yesterday evening while watching another film. Be that as it may, the leg stretching theme will be familiar to those who read my ‘Number Game‘ post, which included the below Katy Perry video.

Of course, getting (s)peed on was a factor – if not the factor – in the Titanic’s demise. It was travelling at warp 9 in the dark and just didn’t see that damn Ice Borg until it was too late. An hour or so later and the Titanic foundered itself thoroughly simulated into the uniMatrix of self-replicating Mr Anderson machines and much fun was had by all.

It should go without saying that this ‘Clash of the Titans‘ reflects another recurring theme, which seems to have something to do with ‘air’.

Or, as Frankie says, maybe it’s something that sounds like ‘air’? Check out this ultra hardcore kumquat and feel free to let me know what you think.

According to Mr Cameron…

Not, not that one, although he does make an important point: never get off the goddamn boat and enter the Heart of Darkness, not even for a mango.

Knot unless you’re me and have special dispensation.

This for the benefit of those interested in learning by The Hunger Games…

OK, back to Mr Cameron. The plot of Titanic revolved around a search for a supposedly fictional diamond called ‘Heart of the Ocean‘, which subsequently transpired to be ‘non-fictional’, although the fictional nature of our ‘reality’ seems to render the difference between ‘fiction’ and ‘non-fiction’ rather meaningless.

Unsurprisingly, the story includes a reference to Marshall

Kate was an assistant working for Morley in one of the ‘Purveyors of High Class Confectionery’ shops, which he owned in London, and the two were secretly sailing on the Titanic as second class passengers to begin a new life together in America, under the names of ‘Mr. and Mrs. Marshall.’

Talking of Mars, let’s not forget this little gem from earlier in the week.

That’s kind of interesting, because earlier this evening I really was trying to phone home. Regardless, I’m sure we all agree that blasting an electric car in the direction of Mars to the tune of David Bowie’s Space Oddity is completely normal behaviour for this ‘reality’. There’s absolutely nothing to sea hear, so let’s move swiftly on because we’ve seen that pesky diamond before, haven’t we Mr Tabernacle? OK, it’s time for some tits!

If truth is stranger than fiction then what to do if truth is itself a fiction? I mean, let’s not forget that the Titanic’s maiden voyage began in Southampton…

The Tabernacle is indestructible and everlasting — Zardoz

Indestructible and everlasting? Is that supposed to give us ‘piece of mind’? Could God himself not sink The Tabernacle? I wonder how that one is likely to play out? Zed’s ‘Holy Bible’, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, introduced us to The Vortex. So what’s going on hear, then?

It’s huge, and if the ‘above’ is the same as the ‘below then…?

Is ‘reality’ just a Sailor’s Dream?

Those fucking Ripleycunts jet everyhair, don’t they?

Yes, I am indeed. But why does ‘Meghan’ seem to be at the heart of it all?

And Posh? You really wanna know? You really Wannabe what that’s all about? I could say, but that’s deep in the Jungle’s ‘heart attack’ territory and if I told you then I’d have to consign you to Davey Jones Locker.

So there we have it. The Greek has inherited the earth and everyone else will just have to take a Number Game and jet inline. 😉

Yep. Never been more sirius in my life.